Goodbye Mr Pinot Grigio

The Palace of Dreams


Far, Far Away


Dear Mr Grigio,

I remember the first night you came into my life. I was 16 years old and I had just had my heart broken for the first time. Your presence in a genteel crystal glass numbed me. I’ll admit it: I’d seen Bridget Jones and I thought this is what women did: they have their hearts broken, then they  eat a tub of Ben&Jerry’s, drink wine and cry with their mum.

The thing is, however, that now I look back on that moment and I realise that that was just the start. The start of a downward spiral that brings me to this moment where I have to break up with you.

Of course, we have had some good times. There are the nights where you and I gathered with my closest friends and we laughed, talked and we all grew closer together. There are the nights that you dared me to take the plunge and take what I wanted, regardless of the consequences, and I woke up the next morning actually thanking you, instead of berating you. There are the nights where you helped me feel sexy, carefree and young. I honestly do thank you for all of that.

However, there have been more bad times than good ones. I’ve realised that I definitely lean on you too much. Whenever I’ve had a bad, sad or mad day you’ve enticed me to forget with your extraordinary elixir. I’ve seen you there on the shelf, giving me the eye, and whispering sweet nothings to me as I gently put you in my basket. You know that I have no self-control and you have used that against me far too many times.

For all the good that you have done me since that night when I was 16, you have also brought out the worst in me. The deepest, darkest, depths of me have been dredged up because of you. The fights that you have led me into have been battlegrounds that I never wished to don my flimsy armour for. The anger that you have brewed forth has left me isolated and alone. The words that you spew forth are the words that should never be said because they hurt; they hurt me and, most importantly, they hurt the people around me and stay with them the most instead of the ones that I say in earnest.

I’ll be honest and tell you now: I’ve resolved to spend more time with your feisty cousin Gin because she never makes me cry. I might even give the occasional nod to your hunky cousin Lager because I’ve yet to discover what hell he can unleash.

Dear Pinot, I do love you. I want to continue to have you in my life but it’s just not feasible. It’s somewhat of a New Year and I am going to eliminate you. I mean it and there is nothing that you can say to change my mind. Please don’t make this harder than it already is. Let us have one last night together and then in the morning we shall part.

Yours forever,

Mrs Vino




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